Magical Thinking  

Posted by Ryan Sproull in


"Leadership. Leadership. Personal responsibility. Family values. Leadership. Decency. Fairness. Leadership."


Belief in free will is not merely an abstract idiocy. It has concrete and idiotic practical applications. For example, last night I was talking to someone who likes John Key and National's emphasis on "personal responsibility". It was implied (or explicitly stated - one of the two) that people can "freely choose" whether or not to go to university, whether or not to commit a crime. When I pointed out the overwhelming tendencies of violent criminals coming from lower socio-economic areas and tertiary-educated people coming from wealthier areas, I was met with a kind of blank stare and a repetition of the assertion: people choose whether or not to do these things.

Otherwise rational people adopt this insane stance. It's like some kind of bizarre brainwashing. Their reasoning is something like this. I say, "Decisions are entirely determined by factors outside of a person's control."

They respond: "You're saying that external factors account for 100% of the determinants of decision-making. This is wrong. External factors influence decisions, but not 100%. Something like 70% or something. And the other 30% is made up of KRSHHRSHSTATICSHHSRRHSRH. Therefore, people are to blame for their own actions. They could have acted differently, but they didn't."

Fuck knows what's going on in that part where their reasoning becomes static. If you try to get them to think about that part of their reasoning, their eyes glaze over for a moment, then they fast-forward to their conclusion and start repeating it over and over.

Alan Watts coined a word - "goeswith"/"gowith" - to refer to those things that are flip sides of the same coin. For example, cause and effect. Cause goeswith effect, and it's both confused and confusing to speak of them as separate. One might ask, "How on earth does the cause leap forward in time to interact with the effect?" But it's all one thing, a cause-effect.

That's what we've got here with this free will nonsense. Choices gowith reasons. The 30% of static in the reasoning of the person who believes in free will provides a kind of imaginary space in which the decision is made separate from the reasons. Within this imaginary space, the imaginary agent gazes dispassionately at the surrounding 70% - the fears, hopes, desires that make it possible to evaluate the preferability of the options - and then chooses which ones to give weight to.

And that feels to them like it makes sense, because they're forgetting that choices gowith reasons, and if they're going to choose which reasons to act on, they're going to need reasons for that decision too.

What's another way to put it? The 30% of static is, to them, like a swing vote. It's those voters who are undecided. 35% want to get up and go to work. 35% want to stay in bed and call in sick. 30% are undecided, and it could go either way! That's what the static is. But, in keeping with the analogy, the 35% were compelled by reasons for voting for, and the other 35% were compelled by reasons for voting against, and the 30% swing voters will also be compelled by reasons for or against. But the static obscures the fact that until they decide, undecided voters are no voters at all. To the reasoning of the free-willer, that 30% is a different kind of thing from the decided voters.

And finally, it's the unpredictability of decisions that provides cover for the 30% of static in the reasoning. It's the fact that, unlike obviously determined things like the striking of the match, we don't have the ability to perfectly predict how someone will act. You can tell me everything you know about someone, but I will only ever be able to tell you how they're likely to act. Jenny's fairly mature, she's never given indications of being depressed, she is expecting good things in the future, so it's really unlikely that she'll jump off the bridge as she walks over it. But she might! But she probably won't. But she might! And I can't say for sure.

The unpredictability is not due to some lack of determinism in decision-making, but simply the complexity of the process and the number of factors influencing it. It's analogous to the weather. We can't predict with 100% accuracy whether or not it will rain tomorrow, but that shouldn't stop us from thinking that it's determined - which is to say, if we did know everything about the factors involved in weather, we would be able to predict it with 100% accuracy.

...

I am increasingly convinced that a LOT of the foolishness in human society is based on the magical thinking at the base of a belief in free will. It affects every aspect of human organisation - economics, government, religion, war, crime and punishment. Sanity needs to spread if things are to get better.


Warrior Codes  

Posted by Ryan Sproull in , ,


Samurai Showdown: vastly superior to Street Fighter.


In 1997, I accepted a tenure-track position in the ethics section of the department of leadership, ethics, and law at the U.S. Naval Academy. My students are intelligent, well-rounded, surprisingly earnest, and extremely likable young people. My six years of teaching philosophy to these future Navy and Marine Corps officers have made it impossible for me to see discussion about the ethics of war as a mere academic exercise. The men and women in my classes have volunteered to be America's warriors. It is important for all of us to understand what that means.

...

Some of my students reported having trouble understanding how anyone, no matter what his convictions, could agree to take part in terrorist operations that are not limited by moral constraints and that involve intentionally targeting innocent civilians. They wondered: Are the people who can do these things inhuman monsters? How can they create meticulous plans to slaughter unsuspecting civilians without being stopped in their tracks by impossible-to-ignore pangs of conscience?


Ethics professor Shannon French sets her US military students an interesting assignment. When Teaching the Ethics of War is not Academic.


Darfur: God's Eye View  

Posted by Ryan Sproull in , , ,




The United States Holocaust Memorial Museum have set up a Google Earth tool/collaboration that lets you see what's going on in Darfur - from a safe distance. Zoom in to more than 133,000 homes, schools, mosques and other buildings burned to the ground.

It's the first step of the USHMM's Genocide Prevention Mapping Initiative.

The Genocide Prevention Mapping Initiative seeks to collect, share and visually present to the world critical information on emerging crises that may lead to genocide or related crimes against humanity.

Beginning with Darfur, we are building an interactive “global crisis map" that will provide citizens, aid workers and foreign policy professionals with a new tool to share and understand information quickly, to "see the situation", enabling more effective prevention and response.

Just Say No  

Posted by Ryan Sproull in




Finally, I have quit smoking. Now, I feel like I can do anything. So I'm going to quit sleeping. You can read about polyphasic sleeping here. I've tried it before and failed miserably, so this will likely be a catalogue of my failure again.

In order to facilitate the schedule...


  • I have quit alcohol.

  • I have quit processed sugar.

  • I have quit caffeine.

  • I have quit any semblance of a social life.

  • I have rerolled on World of Warcraft.



  • First entry

    Last night I slept for five hours, getting up at 6am. I attempted a 30-minute nap at 8am (I'll be sleeping on 4's, 8's and 12's), which was fairly easy, because my workplace has a sickbay with a bed. Eventually I'll get found out, no doubt, but in the meantime I'll keep using it.

    Didn't get to sleep for about 10 minutes. Was awoken by some loud bang 15 minutes later. Going again at 12.

    How about I overhear you talking about firing me, and we'll call it even.  

    Posted by Ryan Sproull




    If you've ever clicked through the webcomics linked to your left (my right) - and you really should have, because they're hilarious - you would hopefully have seen the fantabulously hilarious Mac Hall. I was very sad to see it end last year. But fear not, Matt is back, with the equally brilliant Three Panel Soul.

    News enough in itself. But check this out. At the end of April, Matt was talking about buying a gun. He's in the States, where they do that kind of thing. They buy guns. Anyway, it's perfectly legal, and Matt was talking in his workplace about buying a .22 bolt-action rifle. He was talking about how that's a safer choice, because to really kill someone with it, you'd "practically have to put it in someone's face and pull the trigger". A colleague overheard the conversation, told management, and he was fired.

    So, what the fuck? Sure wouldn't happen in New Zealand. Culture of fear, anyone?

    God, I hate using the word "culture" like that. Everything's a culture these days. Culture of this. Culture of that. Anyway. Culture of fear, anyone?

    "The mainstream media? I trust the Internet more."  

    Posted by Ryan Sproull in ,




    "Ron Paul emerged from last week's GOP debate as completely victorious according to every available benchmark and yet there is still a deliberate ploy to push the Texas Congressman to the sidelines on behalf of a terrified corporate media."

    So says Paul Watson of Prison Planet, in a recent Jones Report. Ever heard of Ron Paul? Here's me guessing you haven't. Ever heard of Rudolph Giuliani? Of course you have. Well, let's hear about Ron Paul.

    He's in Congress for his 10th term. Wikipedia has this to say:

    Paul advocates the limited role of government, low taxes, free markets, and a return to monetary policies based on commodity-backed currency. He has earned the nickname "Dr. No" for voting against any bill he believes violates the Constitution. In the words of former Treasury Secretary William Simon, Paul is the "one exception to the Gang of 535" on Capitol Hill. He has never voted to raise taxes or congressional pay. He has always voted against the USA PATRIOT Act, the Military Commissions Act of 2006, and the Iraq War.


    I'm not generally a fan of libertarians. They like to take functions of society out democratic control by privatising them, and plus "libertarian" was totally our word first. But it sure is interesting listening to him in the debate.

    Spiderman 3 Reviewed - Spoilers  

    Posted by Ryan Sproull in


    Symbiotic suit
    Turning Spiderman emo.
    Bring on the church bell.


    The scene. Sam Raimi is sitting in his study, tapping away at his laptop, trying to work out the details of his script for Spiderman 3. After two excellent movies, he's feeling the pressure and expectation from the fans.

    "An alien symbiote... becomes a suit..." he mutters to himself. On the couch, his teenage daughter texts some cute boys. She has no idea that they're only hitting on her in the hopes of meeting Bruce Campbell.

    "But what does the suit do?" Sam asks himself. Something contemporary. Something hip. Something Sam was those many years ago. He turns to his daughter. "Honey, what do you call that thing that those kids do, with the boys all wearing make-up and looking like they're real sad about being able to afford make-up?"

    Girly Raimi sighs. "Emo, Dad. GOD!" She storms out of the room.

    "Of course!" cries Sam. "The alien symbiote becomes a suit that turns Spiderman emo!"

    He pauses.

    "And it evolved on a planet WHERE THERE WERE NO BELLS!" Sam's on a roll. More cocaine! It's time to finish the script!

    How does Harry learn that Spiderman didn't kill his dad? "The... butler, who we've never seen in the previous two movies! After years of watching Harry turn into a bitter, revenge-driven murderer, the butler finally decides it's time to tell him that knows for a fact that Spiderman didn't kill his dad."

    What about the traditional argument with MJ? "Harry will threaten Peter Parker's life, and it'll never even remotely occur to her that Peter Parker is FUCKING SPIDERMAN and can probably handle himself."

    How to really threaten Spiderman? "Venom will arbitrarily team up with Sandman, who will arbitrarily become a murderous villain, totally out of character, and try to kill Spiderman!"

    And so on.

    And so on.

    But Bruce Campbell was awesome.

    Best Online Documentaries  

    Posted by Ryan Sproull in


    Chomsky umms and ahhs his way through more genius.


    Haven't seen Manufacturing Consent? Well, here it is. In fact, here are many, many online documentaries, at the Best Online Documentaries page. What else is there? Well, there's Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's War on Journalism. The Corporation is there too. Fucking awesome.

    Go. Learn. Whakarongo.


    Closer Than They Appear  

    Posted by Ryan Sproull in ,


    Well, it wasn't Mark replying, I'm sure.


    On Close-Up on TV One last night, there was a discussion panel about the controversial anti-smacking bill repeal of Section 59. It included Sue Bradford, Hone Harawira, some guy who collected a petition against the repeal, and... Promise Keeper Simon Barnett. For some reason I'm certain he's a Promise Keeper, but I can't seem to find any references about it. So maybe he's not. Anyway...

    They asked for feedback, and I gave them some.

    Why on earth is Simon Barnett present in a discussion about legal matters? Does he have any relevant qualification to weigh in, or does having been on television for a while count as some kind of expert degree these days? I look forward to Miss New Zealand's take on our military presence in Afghanistan.


    It didn't occur to me that they might respond, or I would have said something a bit clearer about Simon Barnett's hardcore evangelical Christian views making him unrepresentative of most parents in New Zealand. But, to Close-Up's credit, they did respond:

    Simon Barnett was on the show as a parent not an expert in legal matters. This bill affects many New Zealanders and all parents and he was chosen as a mainstream voice and a parent, not as a lawyer. His "qualification" was that he's a parent of four and has spoken out about the issue over recent weeks.


    I was too shocked by their good manners to say anything intelligent in response, and told them so. They replied that there were another 523 mails about the discussion left to deal with, and even though they declined my offer to reply to a few of them myself, I asked another question:

    If you can spare a moment more, whose decision was it for Mark to call it "the anti-smacking bill"? It's not the name of the legislation, and it sort of immediately frames the discussion in a way that's going to obfuscate what the bill actually does. I know that Close-Up is hardly the first to call it that - in fact, it's hard to find a news or discussion source in New Zealand that calls it anything else. But Bradford, Clark and others have all repeatedly said that it's not a ban on smacking. Anyone trying to clearly put forward arguments in favour of the repeal are immediately on the back foot, having to explain that the bill everyone knows as the "anti-smacking bill" is not, in fact, an anti-smacking bill.


    To which they replied...

    This may interest you. It’s a Green Party Press Release from 2003 in which they labelled it just that themselves.

    http://www.greens.org.nz/searchdocs/PR6778.html


    And so they did. The stupid bastards. Though the press release does make clear that the concern is that Section 59 has been used to get parents off assault charges that involved hitting their kids with bits of wood, the title is there for all to see: "anti-smacking bill".

    While I hope the legislation goes through, it would appear the Green Party may have brought some of this shit on themselves, through lack of foresight.


    Old Friends  

    Posted by Ryan Sproull in




    A Failure in Generalship  

    Posted by Ryan Sproull in


    Lt. Col. Paul Yingling has written a scathing assessment of US generals' failure to anticipate, respond to, and report to the public the extent of the Iraqi insurgency.

    For reasons that are not yet clear, America's general officer corps underestimated the strength of the enemy, overestimated the capabilities of Iraq's government and security forces and failed to provide Congress with an accurate assessment of security conditions in Iraq. Moreover, America's generals have not explained clearly the larger strategic risks of committing so large a portion of the nation's deployable land power to a single theater of operations.

    He's not interested, or it is outside the scope of his article, in whether or not the US should be there in the first place, but limits his criticism to the failure of the US military once involved. Still, an interesting read.

    Gravel for President  

    Posted by Ryan Sproull in




    Senator Mike Gravel made some brilliant points in this Democrat candidate debate, but he's an old man, who repeats himself, has frequent verbal tics ("You know something? You know something?"), etc. The impact of television on politics has predictably favoured better rhetoric over better policies. Of particular interest was his first point - if the Democrats had some balls (no pun intended, Pelosi) and were serious about ending the war, or at least making it clear what's keeping it going, they could.

    Dear Mark Burton. Don't be an idiot. Yours, Us.  

    Posted by Ryan Sproull in ,




    Idiot Savant of No Right Turn fame has started a pledge on PledgeBank, requesting as many people as possible write to Mark Burton urging the repeal of New Zealand's sedition laws, which are quite ridiculous. He set his sights fairly low - 20 people - and the pledge had been met, but sign up and do the same. We need to start using PledgeBank more often. It's a fantastic tool.

    I Not Chinese Lady, I Thai Lady  

    Posted by Ryan Sproull in


    F&P alien foetus incubators:
    manufactured in New Zealand, but for how long?


    The EPMU is at least a little concerned about 350 jobs going offshore in Fisher & Paykel's leap overseas, but even they seem fairly resigned to the nature of New Zealand's current economic climate. One of the reasons given, however, is the Thai labour market.

    No doubt things are a little more business-friendly there, as the Thai Labour Campaign explains. One sad feature of modern unionism is the lack of international solidarity, where unions represent only the interests of their own workers, often with little or no consideration for worker rights abroad. If Fisher & Paykel won't be providing similar labour conditions and effective pay rates to those in New Zealand, isn't there a moral issue at stake here too? It will be interesting to see what kind of conditions our washing machines will be made under after the move to Thailand is made.


    What Iraq needs is more RPGs  

    Posted by James Brown in , ,




    Snow White ACUPAT and the seven eight dorks.




    Forget what you've seen in the movies - war isn't all explosions and excitement. There are long quiet bits where the soldiers' worst enemy is boredom. As far as I'm aware (based solely on those movies I just told you to forget - I'm fickle), in World War II the average GI mostly kept himself entertained with booze, prostitutes, and Glen Miller. In Vietnam it was heroin, prostitutes and Jimi Hendrix. The one thing which has struck me over and over again about television coverage of the Iraq War is the surprisingly high geek factor of the modern GI. Every second US soldier seems to be pimply and bespectacled, and looks as though he would rather be playing a quiet indoor game involving polyhedral dice. Well, it turns out that impression is pretty accurate.

    I think it's a reasonably safe bet that Ziggurat Con, on June 9th at Talil Airbase, near Nasiriyah, will be the first ever organised convention for role-playing enthusiasts held in a war zone. But it probably won't be the last. Apparently RPGs, table-top war games, collectible card games other forms of assorted geekery are a common pastime with entertainment-starved soldiers.

    "There is a deeper sense of camaraderie in a war zone than you see back home," said SPC David Amberson, Ziggurat Con's organiser. "You eat with these people, work with them on a daily basis, and can even share a tent with the same people. When work is over for the day, we can sit back, relax, drink our favorite sodas, eat our favorite snacks, and play a bit of D&D. This helps us relax in a very stressful environment. We found a place where we can go somewhere far away from the IED's, mortar attacks, and gunfire, without ever leaving the safety of our camp. The next step was only logical."

    It's hard to explain quite why I am so pleased by the knowledge that enough troops on active duty play role-playing and war games for there to be a convention. Maybe it feels like a sort of vindication for me and my fellow Followers of Gygax, or perhaps a sign that geeks have finally inherited the earth. Mostly it's because of the image of Bible Belt types getting wind of Ziggurat Con and the 'D&D evil'/'troops good' paradox causing their heads to assplode.

    Oh yeah? What about Hitler?  

    Posted by Ryan Sproull in ,


    President Bush waves to his mate Godwin.


    Naomi Wolf, famous (for being the) author of third-wave feminist classic The Beauty Myth, which I am trying to read at the moment but keep getting distracted by anonymous sexalicious lovelies walking past, has written a rather good Fascist America in 10 Easy Steps for The Guardian.

    It's hardly the first time that similar points have been made, though it's interesting to hear it from someone who was once owned by married to one of Clinton's speechwriters. Here's a previous article in a similar vein: George W Bush and the 14 Points of Fascism. The original 14 Points of Fascism, by Laurence Britt, based on analysis of early 20th century fascist regimes and their preconditions. And thanks to Paul Litterick for this one.

    You'd think that would help, but it doesn't, because it's no longer possible to have an intelligent discussion in which someone is compared to Hitler or Nazi Germany. This is because the same comparison is made in just about every unintelligent discussion had in the last 50 years. Nevertheless, it's an interesting read, and such prejudices must be put to the side in order to take a really good look at these indicators in American society (and perhaps other Western democracies) and whether or not they're cause for alarm.


    Quid Auclandiam faciam?  

    Posted by Tama Boyle in , ,





                 Quamvis digressu veteris confusus amici

                 Laudo tamen vacuis quod sedem figere Cumis

                 Destinet—

    —Juvenal             



    Aucklanders don't seem too cut up about Garth George leaving the Queen City. In fact, anyone reading the letters to the editor in yesterday's Herald could be forgiven for thinking that most people find George a bit of a cunt.

    The fact remains, nevertheless, that, after many deliberative and surely tear-filled hours of contemplation, George has finally decided to call it quits and head for greener, petrol-soaked and rainbow-ringed pastures, somewhere his prejudices and dog logic will be far better received. After a preliminary inquiry, however, it is unlikely Gore will have him.

    George himself avers “I am a man of a bygone era and while I have moved with the times(!) I have moved to my limit”, which apparently includes:

    • Being offended by people of the same ethnicity living in close proximity to one another;
    • Not being liked by his neighbours who are less likely to shake his hand than shake their fists at him (perfectly understandable);
    • Lamenting the pollution of the harbour, while doing little himself to aid or promote environmental issues;
    • Not liking Helen Clark;
    • And failing to read past the first five books of the Bible.

    We wish him and Judith all the best and can but hope he finds enough time during his future pursuits (which will, unfortunately, include writing) likewise to quit being a fucktard.

    Fuck you, you stupid cunt.

    "You were in a snuff film?!"  

    Posted by Ryan Sproull in


    Oh no. Bison.


    Vlad, Yuri and their West Coast gang have done it again, with the first part of the second episode of Break a Leg. If you like Arrested Development, you'll liiiiike this. And if you don't like Arrested Development, it's because you're a bit dim. Just a wee bit dim, poor thing.

    If you didn't see them earlier or have forgotten the story, episode one is here. But here is the new instalment. I am informed that the rest of the episode will be released over the next few weeks.

    She Ain't Thinkin' Straight, With that Penis all up in her Vagina  

    Posted by Ryan Sproull in ,



    Lonesome No More  

    Posted by Ryan Sproull in





    Kurt is up in heaven now. So it goes.

    Not much more to say, for his fans. The two sentences sum up his approach to life and to writing: funny, a little morbid, coming at things from strange angles that shed light on previously unnoticed aspects. But there’s a good chance you’re not a big Vonnegut fan, so I’ll explain.

    When Kurt Vonnegut took over from the late Isaac Asimov as the honorary president of the American Humanists Association, he began his inaugural speech with, “Isaac is up in heaven now.” Everyone laughed. Vonnegut, you see, was a funny guy.

    Kurt Vonnegut was born in 1922, in Indiana. He dabbled in writing and studying various things, before enlisting in the army in World War II. On Mother’s Day, 1944, his mother, Edith, committed suicide. So it goes.

    During the Battle of the Bulge, Vonnegut was captured by German soldiers and ended up in a POW camp. That’s why he was in Dresden in February, 1945, when the Allies heroically firebombed the city into the ground for three days. He was one of seven American POWs to survive, a feat he accomplished by being in the cellar of Slaughterhouse Five.

    24 years later, he wrote a book about his war experiences, that one in particular. It was, among other things, a book about a massacre. Vonnegut apologised to his publisher for the book:

    And I say to Sam now: ‘Sam – here’s the book.’ It’s so short and jumbled and jangled, Sam, because there is nothing intelligent to say about a massacre. Everybody is supposed to be dead, to never say anything or want anything ever again. Everything is supposed to be very quiet after a massacre, and it always is, except for the birds. And what do the birds say? All there is to say about a massacre, things like, ‘Poo-tee-weet?’

    It wasn’t just about Dresden, of course. Slaughterhouse Five was also about a man named Billy Pilgrim, who came unstuck in time and was kidnapped by Tralfamadorians and kept in a zoo with a porn actress named Montana Wildhack. Tralfamadorians experience time simultaneously, so they’re a little confused by humans’ concern with death.


    When a Tralfamadorian sees a corpse, all he thinks is that the dead person is in a bad condition in that particular moment, but that the same person is just fine in plenty of other moments. Now, when I myself hear that somebody is dead, I simply shrug and say what the Tralfamadorians say about dead people, which is, ‘So it goes.’

    What’s surprising about Kurt Vonnegut is that he survived as long as he did. His life was woven with such tragedy, and he took those things and turned them into words, and if I believed in things like Purposes and Meaning, I’d figure that God or the Universe or whatever made him especially for that purpose. But I don’t. So I guess he just had to become that kind of person or just die from it all.

    As I said, his mother committed suicide when she was 23. In the aftermath of Dresden, the Nazis put him to work gathering bodies for mass burial. (“There were too many corpses to bury. So instead the Nazis sent in guys with flamethrowers. All these civilians’ remains were burned to ashes.”) His sister Alice died of cancer, and her husband died two days earlier, when his train went off an open drawbridge in New Jersey. The family tried to keep Alice from learning this, but another patient gave her a copy of the New York Daily News a day before she died, and she read about it there. Kurt and his wife adopted Alice’s daughter, Lily. Two years later, he attempted suicide himself, and failed.

    Death and suicide and disaster pervade his books, which are almost invariably hilarious. One of my favourites was a story by Kilgore Trout, a fictitious failed sci-fi writer who appears throughout Vonnegut’s work. This story’s called Bunker Bingo Party. It’s about Hitler and co.’s last days in the bunker as the Red Army approaches.

    Hitler’s in there with Eva Braun, Goebbels and his wife and kids. Hitler proposes marriage to Eva, she accepts, they have a nice wedding ceremony. Once again out of things to do, they play Bingo. BINGO! Hitler wins! He’s stoked. He tells everyone, “I’ve never even played this game before and I won it! This is a sign!” And so on.


    Eva Braun spoils the moment by swallowing a capsule of cyanide Goebbels’ wife gave her for a wedding present. Trout wrote of Eva Braun, “Her only crime was to have allowed a monster to ejaculate in her birth canal. These things happen to the best of women.”

    Above ground, a 240mm howitzer shell explodes. Flakes of calcimine fall on the deafened occupants of the shelter. “Look, it snows,” jokes Hitler, who decides that it’s high time he does himself in too. He holds a pistol to his head. “Nein, nein, nein!” shout the others. But the Fuhrer convinces them that it’s the right thing to do.

    Now, what should his last words be? “How about,” he proposes, “I regret nothing?” But Goebbels points out that Parisian cabaret performer Edith Piaf has made a name for herself singing those same words in French for decades. “Her sobriquet is Little Sparrow. You don’t want to be remembered as a little sparrow, or I miss my guess.”

    Hitler still hasn’t lost his sense of humour. He says, “How about ‘BINGO!’?”

    But he is tired. He puts his pistol to his head again. He says, “I never asked to be born in the first place.”

    The pistol goes, “BANG!”


    Kurt, who never asked to be born in the first place, was my favourite author in the world, and now he is dead.

    So it goes.