Aucklanders don't seem too cut up about Garth George leaving the Queen City. In fact, anyone reading the letters to the editor in yesterday's Herald could be forgiven for thinking that most people find George a bit of a cunt.

The fact remains, nevertheless, that, after many deliberative and surely tear-filled hours of contemplation, George has finally decided to call it quits and head for greener, petrol-soaked and rainbow-ringed pastures, somewhere his prejudices and dog logic will be far better received. After a preliminary inquiry, however, it is unlikely Gore will have him.

George himself avers “I am a man of a bygone era and while I have moved with the times(!) I have moved to my limit”, which apparently includes:

• Being offended by people of the same ethnicity living in close proximity to one another;
• Not being liked by his neighbours who are less likely to shake his hand than shake their fists at him (perfectly understandable);
• Lamenting the pollution of the harbour, while doing little himself to aid or promote environmental issues;
• Not liking Helen Clark;
• And failing to read past the first five books of the Bible.

We wish him and Judith all the best and can but hope he finds enough time during his future pursuits (which will, unfortunately, include writing) likewise to quit being a fucktard.

Fuck you, you stupid cunt.