It has recently come to my attention that there are certain of you, dear readers of this esteemed web log, who have it in mind to defame me. And, whereas I find it the pinnacle of the basest flattery to do such (can anyone else see the oxymoron?), I fear I must discourage you from doing so.

While my suit is not yet sub judice, anything that may be said between now and when this action finally comes to court may unfairly prejudice my chances of ramming a big, fat legal cock up the collective arses of the Harland-Smith family.

To conclude, don't test my patience.